What To Do When Mom or Dad Is No Longer Safe at Home
Many families don't realize they're asking two different questions:
"Is Mom or Dad safe?" &"What should we do about it?"
This page focuses on the second question.
Simple Answer
If your mom or dad is no longer safe living alone, you’ll never win with the attitude of they have to move tomorrow.
Instead, creating a realistic plan that improves safety, support, and quality of life while respecting their independence is a much better approach
Start Here If...
✓ Falls, near-falls, or mobility concerns are increasing
✓ Medications are being missed or taken incorrectly
✓ Memory problems are creating safety risks
✓ Driving has become a concern
✓ The house is becoming difficult to maintain
✓ You're helping more than you were six months ago
✓ You've started wondering, "What happens if there's an emergency?"
If you’re unsure of where to start
Why Families Get Stuck
Most of the time, families know something needs to change but aren't sure where to begin.
As a result, they often wait until a crisis forces a decision. Unfortunately, crises usually reduce options rather than create them. This is difficult because most families are trying to solve multiple problems at once. They’re worried about…
safety,
finances,
upsetting their mom or dad or, especially,
making the wrong decision.
The Right Steps
Once you know there is a need for something to change, you need a roadmap to start. Unlike roadmaps, there is not a specific order. Overall, you have to…
1. Reduce Immediate Safety Risks
Focus first on the biggest concerns, such as falls, medications, driving, or missed medical care.
The goal isn't solving everything today. It's making tomorrow safer than today.
Find out more of the Immediate Risks
2. Gather Information
Before making major decisions, understand the facts.
Talk with doctors, assess support needs, and learn what options are available.
Discover the Information You Need to Gather
3. Include the Right People
No one should have to carry this responsibility alone.
Family members, medical providers, and trusted professionals can help create a realistic plan.
Know the Right People to Involve
4. Avoid Rushed Decisions
A crisis can make everything feel urgent.
Whenever possible, slow down enough to understand your options before making major decisions.
What Type of Senior Living Does Your Mom or Dad Need?
There’s no shortage of opinions if their home is not the right size for their needs, but there are generally 4 options…
Staying at Home
This involves modifying their home, hiring outside support for in-home care, and more family involvement.
Independent Living
For active older adults who want fewer home responsibilities and more social opportunities.
Assisted Living
Supporting daily activities but also allowing for as much independence as possible.
Find out what life is really like in Assisted Living Communities
Memory Care
For people with memory-related conditions that make it unsafe to live outside of these communities.
If you’re unsure which is right, read more about the differences
Once you’ve realized your mom or dad isn’t safe in their home as it is, the biggest question is…
What About the House?
The good news is that housing decisions and care decisions do not always need to happen on the same timeline.
In many situations, it makes sense to first determine the best living situation and then create a plan for the home.
Common Mistakes Families Make
Waiting For A Perfect Answer
Spoiler Alert: There usually isn't one.
Most successful transitions happen because families make thoughtful decisions with the information available at the time.
Find out Why There Is No Perfect Answer
Trying To Do Everything Alone
The emotional burden becomes much heavier when one family member carries the entire responsibility.
Focusing Only On Independence
The better question is not:
"How do we keep Mom or Dad independent?"
The better question is:
"What environment gives Mom or Dad the best opportunity to be safe, supported, and successful?"
Read more about Mistakes Families Make