7 Mistakes Families Make When Moving a Parent to Assisted Living
Where Things Tend to Go Sideways
Waiting longer than you probably should. If you start to notice something is “off” or social behaviors change, get advice
Trying to solve everything at once. This is a marathon, not a sprint
Not involving your parent early enough. They may not think they need to move and not involving them may set them back further.
Overlooking the emotional side. You don’t want to be in the position where emotions come up when you or your parents are not ready.
Underestimating the cost. Good care is not cheap and cheap care is not good
Rushing through RIGHTSIZING. You never want to look back and think you forgot something or you made the wrong decision.
Taking too much time RIGHTSIZING. Analyzing every decision not only is mentally exhausting, but also physically.
Second guessing decisions. Once you have made the decision to RIGHTSIZE, stick to it.
Trying to do it all without help. You cannot handle it alone - utilize family and friends, hire professionals, and get the support you and your parents deserve.
Forgetting about you and your life. So many families get so involved in RIGHTSIZING that they don’t have time to themselves. Take your kids out to dinner, sleep in on Saturdays, or do anything else to care for yourself
Why This Happens
Humans are not genetically trained for this. We are fixers and aging is inevitable. Likewise, there isn’t a guidebook, a step-by-step process, or anything like it. You are figuring out in real time for yourself and what is right for your parent and family. This is not a linear process and things are bound to go haywire.
What Actually Helps
One of my least favorite sports phrases is “No one beats father time.” Instead of pitcher in baseball, this is more true in the RIGHTSIZING game than in any sport. Being aware is one piece of advice everyone has to take into consideration. You must keep and keep the end-goal in mind. Knowing that it isn’t going to go perfectly is something important to be aware of when you start. Otherwise, you’ll never get to the finish. The best things are not always the easiest and being able to navigate both is important.