Why Mom or Dad Avoid the Conversation Because They Can

May 17

Many families misunderstand why these conversations never happen.

It is not always denial.

Sometimes it is simply this:

mom or dad can avoid the conversation because everyone else is avoiding it too.

And honestly, most adult children are participating in the silence whether they realize it or not.

You May Be Allowing the Avoidance Too

Many adult children wait for:

But avoiding the conversation yourself quietly communicates:

“We do not have to deal with this yet.”

Because these conversations are emotionally uncomfortable for everyone, avoidance becomes the path of least resistance.

This part matters.

Mom or dad own their home - Not you.

Even if you strongly disagree with:

That house represents:

To them, conversations about moving can emotionally feel less like:

“help”

and more like:

“loss.”

I think families sometimes forget this part because fear takes over.

But mom or dad have spent decades:

Many older adults want the dignity of initiating conversations on their own timeline.

You cannot mean avoiding concerns forever, but it does mean respecting that this is their life - this is not a project to manage.

I think the healthiest families eventually stop viewing these conversations as taking something away.

Instead begin viewing them as preparing together.

Usually mom or dad are not avoiding the conversation because they do not care.

They are avoiding it because talking about aging forces people to confront:

And honestly, most of us avoid those things until we absolutely have to.

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Tim Stoverink